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Monday, 20 June 2016

How do we want to be remembered.....

This morning as I write the day is cloudy and threatening rain. I've started to prune my roses and I picked the last three rose buds. My washing is hanging limp on the clothes line and it is unlikely to get dry today, but my orange and lemon trees are looking fabulous offering up their winter bounty. There is nothing quite like the taste of fresh oranges picked from a tree in your own backyard.


 Inside we have had our main living room and bedroom painted, plus all our doors and door frames, and on Wednesday the carpet layer is coming to lay new carpet in those rooms. After thirty years our house needed a lift. We were going to paint when we moved in 20 years ago....oh well, we have finally gotten around to it... no rush. 

In the process of getting ready for the painters and carpet-layers we had to pack up our lifetime of book collecting, photos, pictures, travel collectables, music cds, china and glassware, so we could move cupboards and furniture out of our lounge room. There is furniture and boxes stacked all over the place. Some of the china belonged to my mother and mother-in-law.  As I packed I started to wonder why do we collect all these "things"? Are they what really defines us? 


Are they really important to us? Perhaps in a way what we read, what we collect, what music we listen to, does say something about us. But is this what people will remember?

On Saturday in the West Australian newspaper I read a very tragic story about a well known Western Australian business man who took his own life last year. Sadly he didn't seek help from those that loved him. His wife, son and daughter are still struggling to come to terms with what happened, and they have so many unanswered questions. Their memories of the good times with their husband and father are all they have left to hold on to. I wonder how he wanted to be remembered - by his life and achievements, or will the fact that he ended his own life override all else that was good about him?

I wondered how I would like to be remembered? Will it be for where I worked or the grades I got a school?  I don't think so, so why am I keeping those old school reports? Or the dragon boat racing I did for over 20 years, or the Flamenco I am trying to master right now? Probably not.
I am sure it will not be for the books I read, the things collected on holidays, or the "good" china I have collecting dust in my china cabinet. I've made a pact with myself to not buy any more, and to start using the "good stuff". Why have it if it just sits in a cupboard? I'm also going to sort through my "stuff" as I put it back into my cupboards, and see what there is that has no use to me anymore. I think we need to "clear out" from time to time, don't you? Twenty years in this house, so a clear out is overdue.

Perhaps I would want to be remembered by those I have helped, by those who I may have made some small difference to their lives, to those that I have sympathised with or listened to without judgement. Not given a solution, but just been there to listen when they have needed me.

Perhaps also through the photos I take with my camera, a few of which find their way onto my wall, or into a magazine, but mostly that pile up in files on my computer. In a way my blog is recording some of my life for my family to look back on in later years. But will they?  Last year I started making photo books of our trips away, but will anyone actually look at them or treasure them? Why would "my" memories mean anything to them? Hopefully the shared memories will.
1986 on the Tropic of Capricorn, Western Australia

Shared memories - I think this is how I would want to be remembered, by the good times, and yes the difficult times too, spent together making memories with family, friends, children and grandchildren. Will my grandchildren remember the fun times we spent together, the places we went and the things we did together? Will they remember that we made biscuits together and ate them hot from the oven? I hope so.


It is winter here and the sun is hidden behind the clouds, perhaps the reason for my reflections this morning that I have been tossing around like a piece of old newspaper. It is nearly lunch time. Would you like to stop by for a chat and share a bowl of winter warming soup? You can find the recipe over on my blog post - Winter soup warmers 

I'd love to hear from you in the comments how you would like to be remembered.



Thank you so much for stopping by. I value your comments and look forward to hearing from you. I will try to visit your blogs in return. Have a wonderful week.

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18 comments:

  1. I know how you feel. We downsized 4 years ago to a condo. Today I have the workers in to replace all the shelving in all the closets so everything that was stuffed into those inefficient spaces is now scattered around the house in piles.

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    1. hopefully your new shelving is a lot more efficient. I would dearly love new shelving in my study-work room.

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  2. Loved this post Jill and can so relate to it. As I wrote on our blog a couple weeks ago we are realizing it is time to start 'de-collecting' but wonder where do we start? Our US home seems a museum of items collected from both sets of our parents and various uncles and aunts - none of which are we ready to part with, yet, I keep thinking who will want it when we are gone. Your question of how we will be remembered is a good one and will cause me some pondering today.

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  3. Oranges from you own backyard? I'm jealous, that sounds amazing!

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    1. absolutely! I would hate to ever buy oranges from a supermarket again. There is absolutely no comparison!

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  4. Such a beautiful, thoughtful post Jill, and one that I totally relate to. After all our moves we have thrown out so many so called material memories and treasures, which I've found very hard to do. But they don't define us. You are so right, it's the memories which we can't buy with souvenirs or belongings that are important, the way we are remembered, the good things we've done, or the nice things we've said. Though I don't believe in being a martyr or do-gooder for the sake of it, it's the 'real' things that count, and it's living your life to the best of your ability too. We have just one life. It's not worth filling a life with dust and doldrum and things we feel compelled to keep just 'because'. I suppose I'd like to be remembered for encouraging others to live their dreams, and hopefully being an inspiration for not to letting age define us too. Maybe that's presumptuous - maybe that's a dream too? Ion the other hand I think your thinking is sound and good and trustworthy.

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    1. You are certainly living life to the full Jo and encouraging others to do so. Thanks Jo.

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  5. Looks like someone has been taking potshots at the sign. Too bad!
    Thanks for your thought-provoking post, and for sharing at https://image-in-ing.blogspot.com/2016/06/drip-drip-drip.html

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  6. Lovely, thought provoking post. It is true that these shared memories are ultimately the most important.

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  7. Jill thank you so much for reminding us to declutter our lives and stop holding onto things that won't really mean anything to those we leave behind when we go. Like you, I create photobooks of almost every holiday we take and I also hold onto silly nostalgic things like special birthday cards from the kids and things they made at Preschool. I believe that creating memories not gathering material objects is the key to being remembered. So things like making biscuits together with your grandkids and having in depth conversations with your loved ones are really the special things in life that I would like to be remembered for. Plus I wouldn't mind be remembered for as a struggling travel writer!!

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    1. things they made at preschool....well I must tell you that when I packed up my Mum's things after she had passed away I found a book that I made in kindergarten in 1960! It really touched my heart that she had kept it all this time. I was just looking at it this evening when I was putting away my things. It meant so much to me that she kept it.

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  8. Lovely series of photos ~

    and I agree ~ why do we collect so much 'stuff' ~ have weeded out a lot and still more to go ~

    Happy Week to you ~ ^_^

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  9. I am not a collector, but after 20 years of being married the house is getting full and I feel the need to do some purging. The soup looks fantastic and yum on the cookies too! Have a great week. I am sure your house is going to look smashing once the walls are painted and carpet is laid. http://travelingbugwiththreeboys-kelleyn.blogspot.com/2016/06/the-wedding.html

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  10. We began downsizing before our big transition that we are still in. I am dreaming of more stuff to get rid of once we are in a house. I have a yearning for simple.

    Lisa @ Life Thru the Lens

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  11. What a thoughtful post Jill,... makes me wonder what among the piles of papers and books I should keep. Only what truly brings me joy really (mostly my children's drawings and cards! :) I love the beautiful photo of your orange tree, what a dream to pick fresh citruses from your own yard!

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  12. We had to pack up our study/sewing room this month to have the carpet replaced, so I know a bit about what you've gone through. I had SO much stuff! I donated quite a bit but I found myself wondering about putting things back on the shelves. I would like to be remembered as being a loving person and someone that has a positive outlook on life. I try to be nice to people...to everyone. Hugs, Diane

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  13. Hello, Jill! What timing we will be packing up things soon. Downsizing is just the right thing for us right now. I loved your photos, the oranges look delicious. The last shot is so cute, great capture. Happy Monday, enjoy your new week!

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